One of those days.

Lately, I’ve not been feeling perfectly okay mentally. My mind has been all over the place. I think 2020 has been many things to many of us in different ways and I’ve realized that I become so hard at myself especially when I haven’t been able to achieve something I wanted to. This is one of the things I’m learning how to work on – ways to be easy on myself and to appreciate my progress.

As I am writing this, it has dawned on me that I have other things I have greatly improved on and I deserve to pat myself on the back (I have). I will try to make this post about that. For instance, there’s great progress in how I communicate my feelings, unlike in the past where I will decide to only express my feelings about a situation in the fewest words possible.

I revisited some messages I wrote to my brother 2 months ago, about something that was worrying me. He thought it was a non-issue but when I decide that something is an issue to me, then it is, and he has no right to invalidate my feelings. But since he is a brother, sometimes he ignores me, Ouch, and I end up deleting all my messages, because I am his sister and I can write and delete however I please.

Anyway, about the messages I wrote, I was so proud at how well I articulated my feelings, exactly how I felt about the situation, my fears and what I thought was my way forward. I was also very open to hearing his honest opinions. In other words, If I was to write the same message today, there was nothing I could add or delete because it was raw and perfectly written, by me. I have come a long way.

Speaking of feelings, I don’t know whether this is a skill or simply me being keen on listening to my body, but I have observed some of my patterns and I’m amazed at how much truth there is in patterns. I can tell when I am almost getting angry, when I am almost going to do something out of being too excited, when I’m acting out of my truth and when my emotions are almost getting out of hand. And out of these patterns, I try to find a way to act in the most appropriate way possible depending on the situation.

Still in reference to 2020, I thank God and I am proud that I am able to afford some of the things that I love and I can be of help when need be. I’m still not able to afford most things but I’m making good progress. And as always, let’s claim progress, not perfection. As long as you are moving forward, no matter how slow, be proud of your steps. You are doing well.

As you can see, I have only been able to pick a few things to appreciate myself because clearly, today is one of those days. Although I feel fine. This is to encourage you that all these days are universal to everyone, the days when energy levels are high and some when you push a little harder. And it’s okay.

As I mentioned earlier, the year has brought about so many changes. If you are in a position to, please look for someone you can assist. It will go a long way. And if any of you is stuck, please ask for help, allow yourself to be assisted.

Meanwhile, let’s keep pushing, things will work out.

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